I have been avoiding writing for a while because I have been holding myself to an unattainable standard of writing. I constantly have this idea where everything i post, film, write, or even every face I slay has to be better than the last and to an extent: this is true. I should be progressing and encouraging myself to be better but the part I missed out on is that it has to be organic. There are no steroids when it comes to creativity, no cheat codes or get rich quick plans. It has to be organic and like every other skill- one has to practice and nurture my skill set to get better I cant just get better one time! I had tricked myself some how some way into thinking that I needed to get better each time that I do something by default- ignoring the key word of practice. People would email me like “kemi i loved your blog post on so and so” and instead of using this as water to nurture my writing, I saw it as extra pressure which manifested into anxiety. This anxiety would now turn into a “writers block” or what I thought was a writers block or creative block. I took on compliments as okay how can i top this in my next post instead of just basking in the rays of my capabilities and enjoying my achievements. I always have so much to type but if it isn’t witty enough or if i don’t unfold my ideas creatively enough I scrap the idea and forget the post. I am in the process of unlearning this lie that my mind has caused me to believe where I have to be perfect and more amazing than the last time for my efforts to be accepted and valid. So yes my last post was written well and this post may not be as good but that doesn’t negate my ability to write well it just means that i was at my greatest there and when i exceed that level of writing; it will happen when it needs to. We cant keep letting the fear of failure cripple us to the point of becoming stagnant and not trying.
Blossom and go forth.